KanKonKwiz™

NOW WITH SOLUTION

For a fun diversion as we head into a long, hot summer of pogey, “blockbuster” Hollywood movies, and high-UV-index Saturdays pretending to give a shit about Toronto FC, take the Tea Makers’ fun new KanKonKwiz™!
(First in a series!)

Can you spot the distinctive, legal-mandate-conformant CBC Television series hidden in plain sight in this omnibus list of brand-new “Canadian” programming, compiled from press releases from CBC and Canada’s valued private broadcasters?

  1. Ford Models Supermodel of the World Canada
  2. Great Canadian Bio-Series
  3. Ice Pilots NWT
  4. Canada’s Super Speller
  5. Pow-wow’s Playhouse
  6. Innovators of Music
  7. Leaders of Lieder
  8. Bloodsport: Opera
  9. Photo Xplorers
  10. Star Portraits
  11. Anna & Kristina’s Style Bag
  12. The Cupcake Girls
  13. Of Kiwis and Men
  14. L’Oréal Paris Presents Spitting L’Image Canada
  15. Re-Vamped
  16. The Jane Show
  17. How to Marry a Millionaire
  18. Battle of the Blades
  19. Over the Bolts
  20. Junk Raiders
  21. Johnny Knoxville’s Jackass: The Series Canada
  22. Peak Season
  23. Crash & Burn
  24. The Half-Hour News Parody Hour
  25. Angel on Campus
  26. Baxter
  27. The Republic of Doyle
  28. Meet Phil Fitz
  29. The Bougons
  30. The Ron James Show
  31. Eat Your Heart Out, Adrienne Clarkson
  32. Stella and Sam
  33. Justin Time
  34. Sanctuary
  35. Traders: The Musical
  36. Bloodletting
  37. All Families Are Psychotic
  38. Homeroom Vampire
  39. Love Among the Tar Sands
  40. Fakers
  41. Harlequin Presents The Kilting Bee: The Colin & Justin Story
  42. Phantom
  43. 18 to Life
  44. The Pillars of the Earth
  45. The Foundation
  46. Living in Your Car
  47. My Other Car Is a Prius
  48. Straighten Out Your Life with Mark Tewksbury
  49. My Rona Home
  50. The Basement Design Department
  51. Holmes Inspection
  52. Conviction Kitchen
  53. Realtor vs. Realtor

Answers!

Well, I see nobody gave a shit.

The new CBC shows are Ron James, Battle of the Blades, Canada’s Super Speller, 18 to Life, and The Republic of Doyle (AKA “Not Charlie Jade”).

The list included a number of ringers I made up. You should have spotted at least one or two, but nobody would have gotten all of them. This theory will remain untested.

  1. My Other Car Is a Prius
    (as surely any Riverdale-semi-owning CBC manager’s wife’s must be)
  2. L’Oréal Paris Presents Spitting L’Image Canada
    (après Project Runway Canada avec Iman, le déluge?)
  3. Leaders of Lieder
    (ahhhts programming)
  4. Bloodsport: Opera
    (Repo: The Genetic Opera half-assedly cloned 1996–CITY-TV/Canadian style)
  5. Straighten Out Your Life with Mark Tewkesbury
    (who’s already doing Newsworld segments)
  6. The Bougons
    (from Les Bougon, one of those actually funny Radio-Canada series that tightassed, PC Fort Dork pretends doesn’t exist and isn’t worth remaking in English)
  7. The Basement Design Department
    (which got dismantled)
  8. Love Among the Tar Sands
    (AKA Son of Wild Roses)
  9. How to Marry a Millionaire
    (please: a gimme)
  10. Eat Your Heart Out, Adrienne Clarkson
    (hommage to Her Excellency the Sashimïst General)
  11. Homeroom Vampire
    (YTV-style tween comedy)
  12. Traders: The Musical
    (could it work?)
  13. Of Kiwis and Men
    (calque of Des kiwis et des hommes)
  14. All Families Are Psychotic
    (après jPod, le déluge?)
  15. Harlequin Presents The Kilting Bee: The Colin & Justin Story
    (they really are on book covers; plus they’re reputedly hung like horses)
  16. Pow-wow’s Playhouse
    (Cowboy Curtis’s aboriginal reconciliation)

2 comments:

  1. Fake Ouimet
    Posted June 17, 2009 at 11:20 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Johnny Surlypants, this writer has no intention of pulling a New York Times and writing a complete biography of everyone who lost their job.

    Layoffs are an issue. But where â€Â now †is the story? When one makes itself apparent, we’ll cover it.

    Seriously, what kind of blog are you looking for? The kind you should start yourself, apparently, since all you do is defy your own pseudonym and complain. You haven’t even managed to submit a guest post.

  2. Johnny Happypants
    Posted June 17, 2009 at 5:45 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Hundreds of people lose their jobs or are re-assigned and you post this crap!

    Please FO, go away.


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