The Tea Makers

Read carefully: Hannah Sung is drunk. Call me old-fashioned, but nothing is sadder or more tedious than a drunk with an iPhone. Drunk with a revolver? Now we’re talking.

But plenty of time to write this awesome tweet. What kind of summer camp are you at, anyways?

I’m not a fan of this new trend of journalists sending their phone numbers into the tweethole. I repost this one in an effort to shame Craig Lederhouse and also in the hopes that someone will call him up with their own take on online co.’s and HST, ASAP. You might even get on the radio!

How to Become a Social Media Maven: Part One

Engage audience via Twitter. Name drop without naming names to make self seem vaguely important.

How to Become a Social Media Maven: Part Two

Make sure it’s a topic that will interest your loyal audience. Take some satisfaction in watching them beg for your attention and the attention of the big names you vaguely allude to. Evaluate the social capital of the responses. Let simmer.

How to Become a Social Media Maven: Part Three

Attention from community attained. Social capital gained. Mission accomplished.

Back out quietly and gracefully. Ignore your previous message of “tonight,” swap in “a couple of weeks.” Maybe no one will notice? Employ smiley face as necessary exit strategy.

Note: “tweetup” in this case means “kick in the balls and/or ovaries.”

“Trashed” is a bit harsh. “Served“ is more apt.

Boy, there’s something you don’t get every day! The opinion of a green-tinged-avatared content strategist on Twitter! Call the newspaper!

Thanks for the warning, but no need to be so formal. By the way, I am making fun of you to reinforce my belief that I’m more clever than you are.

Please don’t feed his ego. It’s already big enough as it is.

Hey, nerd, here’s a tip: turn off one of your doodads. Or, better yet, get a girlfriend and let her turn them off.

Public service message from Yoda this tweet is.

Everyone knows that when fake Twitter accounts make love, the entire Internet makes love with them.