Further down the tweethole

The twitter people have criticized these posts for doing it wrong. Tweets are sacrosanct and must be taken in context, they say. Tweets should not be fodder for cheap laffs. They tell me I’m too old and I don’t “get it.”

But nothing could be further from the truth. I get it. It’s all about rapid communication. And for people in the public eye, it gives them a rare chance to interact with the public directly.

WTF BLOCKED! By John Doyle! It’s an outrage! What did I ever do to him?

Come to think of it, he’s been distant ever since he was caught plagiarizing from this site. No matter. If only they could block me from seeing his stinky TV cranny in the newspaper, the circle would be complete.

Besides, we all know that in the future, TV criticism will be delivered to us via twitter in real time.

Indeed, Honkerburger. I concur with that sentiment.

ctorbin, I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is that the CBC has nothing to do with Canadian Idol, so our shortfall won’t effect that show. And the bad news?

Word up, dawg!
For some reason, which remains a mystery to me, the whole Hardcore CanCon genre of rap never took off.

Another great use of twitter is for CBCers to keep in touch with each other across the country like one big happy famiARRRG WTF? I just got stabbed in the fucking back! Serves me right for standing in front of CBCAaron.
I’m moving over here….


FWAAAGfor the love of God! Someone just shoved something up my ass over here!

It’s a long story but the upshot is: anything you put on here I can read. And I have a million eyes and see pretty much everything. In fact, I see you reading this right now. Get back to work.
That goes for your boss as well.

Now, this is what I’m talking about. This is the kind of minutiae that people read twitter for, a brief peek into the lives of the people we see on TV, who travel in circles that we can only dream of, but at their core are just like us.

Let’s move on.

Our mightiest Canadian dead tree columnists, using twitter to beg for interviews with glorified American nerds. Using default avatars. Twitter is indeed a savage land, and I can bear no more. Please, spirit, move on.

It’s clear that twitter is best left to professional media people like us, who understand that it’s best used like a rivet gun with which you hammer your message into the crania of the twitter people.




… wait for it … wait for it, now…

… and done!

Hell, maybe the critics are right and I don’t get it after all. Is there anyone here who does?

Succinct. Pithy. Concise. Without pretense, deceit, or cheap sentimentality.
I couldn’t have written it better myself.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous
    Posted April 8, 2009 at 10:56 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    blocked, eh?

    It’s okay, I’m blocked from commenting on Q’s YouTube videos. Why bother allowing comments if you can’t take a few jabs?

  2. Anonymous
    Posted April 7, 2009 at 5:03 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    The CBC can’t afford paperclips anymore. No, I tell a lie…but they are rationed/limited.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted April 7, 2009 at 12:15 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    http://www.twitter.com/CBCNewsdesk, while playing with their paperclips and pencils crow that:” # We’ve hit 10,000 followers on @CBCNews. ^JB6:34 PM Apr 2nd from web “

    and then there is legend-in-his-own-mind http://twitter.com/todmaffin

  4. Anonymous
    Posted April 2, 2009 at 1:09 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Fucking love it.

  5. Anonymous
    Posted April 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Yawn.

  6. Anonymous
    Posted April 2, 2009 at 11:41 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Love it. How can you possibly instill context in 140 characters or less? For instance, I happen to know CBCAaron was being facetious. He can’t bump anyone.

  7. Vigilante
    Posted April 2, 2009 at 11:37 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Love it.


Post a Comment

Your email is never shared.

Upload Files

You can include images or files in your comment by selecting them below. Once you select a file, it will be uploaded and a link to it added to your comment. You can upload as many images or files as you like and they will all be added to your comment.

Write for us