Manly, yes, but

I’m going to float a theory here that only partly amounts to riding my own hobbyhorse.

Start with this photo-op artifact (Mike Cassese, Reuters) from James Moore’s announcement of the new Canadian Media Fund… on the set of Flashpoint:

Hugh Dillon and Enrico Colantoni, in SWAT-like uniforms, flank James Moore, in a suit

Flashpoint is a big manly production about a big manly topic that people, even Toronto people, use an American term to describe: SWAT teams. The guys look fantastic in the various vests and cargo pants and wraparound holsters. Even iceblond cupcake David Paetkau looks good.

The show is American in everything other than setting, so of course it sold to the Americans. That’s what make it interesting to right-wing assholes: It thrives in the free market. But they also like it because it upholds nice manly values.

James Moore is hardly a right-wing asshole or a hick or anything else; he’s not uncultured, he stuck it out in French immersion in British Columbia, he understands technology. He’s no good at spotting Canadian (and “Quebec”) celebrities, but that’s not the point here.

The point is he’s a big guy in a male-dominated political party (I know, they all are, but follow me for a moment) and if he’s gonna show up anywhere to announce a new funding program, it’s gonna be at a big manly show. Right now Canadian shows don’t come any manlier than Flashpoint. (Check the size of Hugh Dillon’s basket.)

What about The Border? Too dicey with its implied mockery of Americans – sort of like Intelligence’s plain depiction of American spies in Canada. (Haddock says that’s one reason it got shitcanned.) Conservatives get quite riled at mockery of Americans.

Meanwhile.

CBC is, yet again, trying to demonstrate why it should exist, and everyone is acting like CBC and CBC Television are one and the same thing. What are CBC’s marquee shows?

  • Girl in relationship trouble
  • Time-travelling girl
  • Girls on horseback
  • Girls in heels burning Porsche rubber in Calgary
  • Girls leaving their all-thumbs husbands for a week
  • Gumtoothed gay “satirists”
  • Lapsed rocker dude in cardigans
  • Muslim-infiltrated prairie village

I was being sincere when I told Fuchs we needed more male-oriented programming. Right-wing assholes already think CBC = CBC Television is a left-wing bastion. Girly, effeminate programming automatically seems left-wing to them because girly, effeminate anything seems leftist to them.

Under the former programmer of a cooking and decorating network, that’s all CBC Television has to offer these days.

Why would anybody be surprised the Tories are so unsympathetic to the Corpse? To them, CBC is in the business of cultural emasculation.

19 comments:

  1. Fake Ouimet
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 1:48 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece
  2. Anonymous
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 5:33 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    What about Hockey Night in Canada? What about pretty much all of Saturday, with sports wall-to-wall?

  3. Vigilante
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 4:40 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    OH! And I meant to say…

    Anyone remember Pioneer Quest? I loved that show. I’ll never forget the sound of the mosquitoes, or how they spent a good portion of the night removing ticks from one another. Awesome.

    That would be a good show if it hadn’t already been done.

  4. Vigilante
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 3:26 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Tipping the Velvet was a great read. Nice call, 5:06. I’ll second that one.

    And thanks for the list of shows, PhantomObserver. That Oz and James one sounds good, do they show it on BBC Canada?

    (I shouldn’t really say I don’t WATCH TV, I just don’t GET TO WATCH TV. Unless it’s Spongebob or Prank Patrol. But I’m sure if I throw a couple of chocolate bars down the backyard and lock the doors I might be able to get half an hour or so in before they alert the neighbours)

    And Allan…thanks again for the indelible imagery. It’s going to haunt me at 3am, you know that, right?

  5. Anonymous
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 3:06 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    As a warm blooded male, I would welcome a CBC production of Tipping the Velvet.

  6. Aigle
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 2:14 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Dr. Who had usually had a strong female fanbase as well.

    I mean WHO can say “no” to Mythbusters (or it’s Canadian little brother “The Re-inventors” from Saskatchewan)?

    Perhaps they are too simple, or there is no social commentary in them. I dunno why we don’t do shows that are “just interesting”.

    I really, really think Bob McDonald should give us a Television show…just how stuff works and how we figured out how it works. He is a great storyteller and really has a sense of still enjoying his work. (Mind you, I don’t know him personally).

    I’ll even fix his computer….Or donate a computer he can inflate with helium and/or blow up/stuff with ballistic gel/irradiate..etc.

    (Sorry, I’m trying to keep my mind off tomorrow.)

  7. PhantomObserver
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 2:02 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    What do guys like to watch?

    — Top Gear (BBC)

    — Mythbusters (Discovery Channel)

    — Oz & James' Wine Adventure (BBC)

    — Doctor Who (BBC)

    — Life on Mars / Ashes to Ashes (BBC)

    — FutureWeapons (DiscoveryChannel)

    — Bob Izumi

    Now, does anybody believe that a CBC executive — *any* CBC executive — would greenlight shows like these, if they'd heard an initial pitch for them?

  8. Allan
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 10:29 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    It’s extreme, yes, but they’re real men. Around here, all I ever get is the finger.

  9. Vigilante
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 4:55 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Thanks for making me choke on my coffee, Allan.

    Aww, man! What an image.

    Blech.

  10. Allan
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 6:48 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Emasculation or gay agenda?
    I do recall seeing George & Jian fisting each other.

  11. Anonymous
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 4:18 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    CBC is always trying to be so politically-correct that they ‘overdo’ things to the point where it becomes ‘just too much’. And, it’s not just in tv either. It is everywhere. Ask the big cheese why the corner of John and Front is still vacant? Here’s a hint – the vendors that can afford to lease the space is not ‘politically-correct’ enough for CBC. Maybe someone should remind them that having that space vacant may end up costing jobs at the CBC which in turn may prevent people/families/kids from having food on their tables. Let’s get one thing straight people – FEEDING FAMILIES IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAT OFFENDING PEOPLE WHO ARE SIMPLY BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE. Get over yourselves and your selfishness.

  12. Fake Ouimet
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 2:57 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    “They” think CBC has all sorts of agendas.

  13. Bytowner
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 2:12 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I don’t give a damn if they believe CBC’s got an emasculation agenda. I want to live in a civilized country. If they think civilization = emasculation, too bad for them.

  14. Aigle
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 1:56 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Y’know..you may actually have a point on this one. I’d never listed them out, but there does seem a real disproporionality of Girly-ness in the evening programming.

    Too bad it’s all pretty lame chick stuff. I’m a chick too, and it it was any good, I’d probably tune in. Right now, you’d think we were WTN.

    Mythbusters and the Re-inventors are my current faves…and one would be CanCon (and fairly cheap to produce).

    (yes, I’m a Grrl…most of the comments I heard about missing S+C or FF werew from guys.)

  15. Vigilante
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 11:04 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    True ’nuff. But what would attract the average Canadian male viewer (or listener) when he’s not out playing hockey? I mean besides hockey, naturally.

    UFC? Fishing? Overhaulin’?

    I don’t know, I’m a chick. And I don’t watch television. What do guys like to watch?

  16. Anonymous
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 10:57 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    For once, I actually agree with you, Allan!

  17. Allan
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 9:11 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Lacking a Hughe basket, I had no choice but to become a leftist.
    But isn’t the evening TV sked aimed at the audience that’s there, and not at the one out playing hockey with their best buds?

  18. Anonymous
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 8:58 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I can imagine what a Canadian version of Top Gear would be like…. Chris, Jian and George…

    Excuse me, I have to slam back a fifth of CC to recover from that image.

  19. Anonymous
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 8:44 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I agree with your assessment.

    The same applies to Radio-Canada programming. All the men presented are spineless, irresponsible and soft.

    Enough is enough.


Post a Comment

Your email is never shared.

Upload Files

You can include images or files in your comment by selecting them below. Once you select a file, it will be uploaded and a link to it added to your comment. You can upload as many images or files as you like and they will all be added to your comment.