Your guide to this alien landscape

Welcome, Radio 3 listeners!

Were you aware all along that your favourite “radio” station was part of the CBC? Had you been watching anything on CBC’s many television networks? Did you ever listen to hip, happenin’ shows like Go on CBC Radio?

Do you own a radio?

Do you know what a blog is? This is a blog. This is the unofficial CBC blog. The unofficial one. There’s an official one, which nobody has ever liked. That one’s all hat and no cattle. Whereas we’re more like the branding iron – in a vegan, cruelty-free, smoky-broiled-tempeh kind of way.

We have a love relationship with the Corpse, as Frank always called it and we sometimes do. (You probably don’t remember Frank.) We also have a bit of a hate relationship. Technically that makes it a love-hate relationship, but it’s more of a LOVEhate relationship. 60/40, 80/20, something like that. We’re more like Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition.

This blog used to be written by one guy/girl/group/expert system, Alphonse Ouimet. It has since been written by some combination of Ouimet Classic, nobody, Anonymous, Allan, Fake Ouimet, and, rarely, guest posters. (You could be one of them! Unlike many commenters on this blog, we don’t tell you to go fuck yourselves if you disagree with us. We tell you to do that and also we ask you to write for us. Barely anyone does; they mostly just leave anonymous drive-by comments.)

There’s a lot to dislike about the Tea Makers – and that’s because there’s a lot to dislike about the Corpse and of course the media just reflects reality. But we love our blog and we love the CBC – and we do that the way we love a philandering husband or a young nephew whose autistic-spectrum disorder leads to an obsession with toy trains and waterbugs or that other nephew who likes to set puppydogs on fire.

All private networks are private networks in the same way, to paraphrase Wilde. But the CBC and the Tea Makers are wildly different from day to day, as your reactions to both shall be. We contain multitudes. Of course we care if you hate us, but we aren’t about to lose any sleep over it. The show must go on. You can be part of it, or you can just sit there and grouse.

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