CBC News is a No-Brainer

if you were to tune in randomly to the noon news on CBC News Network, what would it reveal about the current state of journalism and priorities of the CBC …

First, a straight-forward broadcast that puts real news first.
That would be the BBC.

Meanwhile, the CBC continues on its witless path toward irrelevance and disgrace.
For the CBC these days, choreography is one of the most important aspects of presenting the news.
In the clip below, the news anchor must not only stand but also be seen walking toward the anchor desk. Apparently it’s believed that this motion makes a difference to how well the newscast is accepted.
Just as each night Peter Mansbridge must walk along a ramp, taking four or five steps, then stopping and turning to address a big screen from which Claire Martin will give the national weather forecast.
This maneuver is considered critical and must be adhered to every night, by every anchor who appears on The National.

And what story is chosen as the lead?

Who could have guessed that Tiger Woods would say absolutely nothing worth hearing?
Just about anyone, really.
But the CBC leads the noon news with him and his imminent “news conference”, a staged and tightly controlled event intended to restore the seriousness and classy image of golf, and offer no news whatsoever.
The last thing anyone at the Masters Tournament wants is any more controversy. All is business as usual.
Reporter Paul Hunter is sent on location to cover this non-event.
Is this a big news story?
Could we have a show of hands of all the people who think that Tiger Woods is ever going to give a truthful and frank answer to a question.
Hey, Tiger, why did you pay $10 million to one of the women you had sex with and then none to the more than a dozen others?
Did Paul Hunter or anyone get an answer to that question?

News gathering made easy and cheap – just read aloud what it says on a respected newspaper’s web site.

“reportedly … allegedly … we’ve learned that … we’re getting word that … as the story goes … as told to … apparently …”

The more expensive “Tiger Watch” – send two reporters and arrange for a live satellite feed.

(edited down from 4 minute report)


  1. Anonymous
    Posted April 21, 2010 at 10:53 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    CBC News infotainment?
    That suggests its programs include some entertaiment value. Never seen any.
    Nothing more than “news” nobody cares about to a captive audience of old people who cant learn how to chance the channel using a remote.

  2. Anonymous
    Posted April 16, 2010 at 8:21 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    It’s obvious that CBC news is taking their cues from CNN these days.

    What would be the reason for such a huge glass table/desk for 1 newscaster and 3 sheets of paper?

  3. poopsmith
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 1:33 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    CBC = The New HGTV.

    Maybe Debbie Travis can have some news integration.

    • Curb Your Enthusiasm
      Posted April 12, 2010 at 8:52 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

      “Style over substance” is the CBC credo, so Debbie is a perfect fit. Maybe she can makeover George.

    • Anon
      Posted April 14, 2010 at 3:36 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

      Oh, how we miss Gill Deacon and her integration of CBC Promos.

      Is Elwood Glover ready for a comeback?

  4. blah
    Posted April 11, 2010 at 4:20 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    … okay, fine, but what, you want them to have a reporter stand outside of the prison where Russell Williams is? To do what exactly?

    • Allanjoined April 10, 2009
      Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:59 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

      They did exactly that.
      Standing outside the prison while adding nothing to the story.
      I just can’t be sure from memory if it was CBC or CTV.

  5. Anonymous
    Posted April 10, 2010 at 1:48 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Gotta admit, that little walk up to the desk was laughable. Yesterday, they came back from a commercial to a wideshot of some lacky, obviously waiting for the cue, stepping up to the anchor and handing her some copy. Anyone ever seen the closing shot of the bible prophesy show “Jack Van Impe Presents”? Same shit. Unbelievable. What’s happening to the CBC is sad, period. Does anyone know whatever happened to Nancy Wilson? Probably the same shove-out-the-door as Jacquie Perrin. Mustn’t have anyone over 50 now, must we? Experience will not be tolerated!

    • Allanjoined April 10, 2009
      Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:57 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

      Nancy’s still there, and doesn’t seem to have aged one bit, even at 60.

  6. K'Anonymous
    Posted April 9, 2010 at 10:51 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Ah yes, the visually charged, highly choreographed, but editorially vacant TV news push. Where have I seen this before? http://bit.ly/bR0MDO

  7. Anonymous
    Posted April 9, 2010 at 10:12 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Remember when CBC news and tabloid journalism weren’t feeding at the same trough?

    Yes, I really need my tax $ spent on covering the same stories as TMZ, the National Enquirer, Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood……

  8. Nymph O. Maniac
    Posted April 8, 2010 at 7:48 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Enough about Tiger…can we get an update on Jesse James and his escape from rehab please?

  9. Anonymous
    Posted April 8, 2010 at 12:10 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    This is why North American culture is on a highway to hell. Even once serious news organizations are now catering to the lowest common denominator with low IQ titillating “news”.

    Why is an athlete’s sex life and marriage newsworthy? How does it have any affect on our lives? This is an “important” story? It doesn’t even warrant reporting.

    The BBC is still worth every penny. The CBC aint worth sh!t!

    • Anonymous
      Posted April 8, 2010 at 5:17 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

      Pay no attention to that man/woman behind the curtain or at the shiny desk on the colourful set..it’s all about filling airtime and feeding pablum

  10. The ghost of Earl Woods
    Posted April 8, 2010 at 10:58 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Rumour is that he paid the $10 million to Rachel Uchitel because she had a sex tape. Which makes sense. I don’t know what else she could’ve had on him that would be worth $10 million.

  11. Nomadic Nomind
    Posted April 8, 2010 at 10:51 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    CBC “news” is infotainment. Nothing more. Complete waste of time.

  12. Anonymous
    Posted April 8, 2010 at 10:13 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    The fact that at least a few of the women that he was having sex with were porn stars/escorts should lead one to the obvious conclusion that he was paying for sex. The main stream media – for the most part – has been reporting of his many “alleged affairs”. But really now, how many affairs can one man have at a time? He was a “john”, plain and simple. The women that he had sex with were prostitutes that got paid (in one way or another). It’s just another story about the worlds oldest profession……but you wouldn’t know it from the news coverage.

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