That’s Pröféssör Fake Ouimet, to you

Fake Ouimet is turned down for a job teaching journalism at Ryerson, presumably for “not going to the right parties,” despite being able to “do the job better than anybody in town.”
Also, children love him.


  • Joe Clark says:

    Did you see that I’ve become a fullon nazi now, by the way? My compulsive provincial fascination with (((ethnicity))) has reached its zenith. I’m not some hayseed rube from the Maritimes, I’m a paid-up, 21st-century hater!

  • I have the great pleasure to report that absolute twatwaffle Joe Clark has once more been given the bum’s rush from an event he was supposed to speak at, reportedly due to the kind of behaviour we all grew so familiar with around here. Friend, won’t you ever learn?

  • I see unbelievable bastard Joe Clark is up to his old tricks again. Here we are almost a decade down the road and he hasn’t learned a single thing. He appears to be on some holy mission to make himself the Most Hated Man In Canada, and by gum he’s succeeding.

  • Blistering Barnacles says:

    Well good luck to you Joe, and good luck to Ouimet. For God’s sake, all, life is too short.


  • Joe Clark says:

    To answer the various questions above, not that you actually wanted answers: I wrote my RyeHigh J-school posting because I default to publication of all my work once it’™s done. I’™m an inch away from publishing all the details of my dealings with publishers and agents, for example. (I already publish some of the latter.) I wear my Gore-Tex hats only in inclement weather, otherwise a toque.

    I’™ve lived here longer than 19 years and, contrary to the insinuation, I have not run myself out of town.

    Now, then. What seems to be the problem here? I have severed my ties with the Tea Makers. I don’™t even have a login anymore. There was a great schism put into place by Alphonse Ouimet, but I have pretty much forgiven him for it. We owe each other an apology, something we’™re much too stubborn to actually deliver.

    I don’™t have anything to do with the CBC, Inside the CBC, Strombo, Jian Ghomeshi, Radio 3, or the Tea Makers. Picking on me is like picking on Raymi the Minx or Sharkboy or somebody else in town with an online presence.

    I continue to insist that it was Alphonse Ouimet’™s intention all along that personal attacks be permitted on the Tea Makers. It is no coincidence that the great schism occurred after I began to seriously cull that herd. I went in and cleaned up the most egregious archives and comments. I really enforced a no-attacks policy, up to and including deleting a comment that was legally defamatory. A lot of people who were picked on before ceased to be picked on under my watch, a fact they themselves didn’™t even notice in some cases (like Denis McGrath, who somehow failed to note we suddenly used only one nickname for him, his true initials).

    I didn’™t control what other people wrote and didn’™t interfere even when they pushed it right to the line (as in a DMcG posting), but I did try to clean house. Plus I wrote a great deal of content, not all of it critical and none of it shite.

    Aaand that’™s all in the past. I am now just a civilian. I am hors de combat. Mmkay?

    So I don’™t know why you’™re all so hateful and angry, unless it’™s your natures, which I suspect may be true. I’™m actually doing pretty well here, despite last week’™s flu. I have an interesting contract, I had a good meeting with a publisher, I’™m being courted by an agent who understands me better than I understand myself. I’™ve had someone come out of the woodwork and actually endorse my RyeHigh J-school business.

    Of course I have haters, but I also have defenders. To paraphrase Katt Williams, haters is just doing what they gotta do. It really hurts and it is hugely disruptive and upsetting when you use the distance of blog comments to launch attacks, but while we’™re waiting for you to grow up and show some compassion for your fellow man, why not take up my standing offer and drop by for a cup of organic fair-trade tea? If you’™ve got that much to complain about, bring your mountain to Mohammed.

    Otherwise, I have nothing to do with you and I don’™t see why you need anything to do with me. I look back on the Tea Makers with equanimity and affection, in truth.

    • Joseph Clarke says:

      I know that he’s really interested in journalistic standards. So just to not quite let this thing die, everyone needs to remember a couple of things. Like how he threatened to ‘out’ Ouimet on his own blog, then removed the post.

      Poor Joe, indeed. Doomed to the humorless [sic] irony of being a degree of separation from the exact ‘shit-in-the-pool’ bully he rails against.

      No sympathy for this washed up fop.

  • Pinky says:

    Live like a prick, die when pricked.

  • Anonymous says:

    I see a strong similarity here with a post on the Fawny blog, with the positions reversed:

    One major difference is that Joe’s post on Michael Surtees was quite personal and quite frankly stank of petty jealousy. This little link here did no more than quote Joe’s own blog.

    There were no personal attacks here, Joe. You’re simply being schooled. Try to learn something.

  • Anonymous says:

    >>I’™ve been leaving you people, who haven’™t actually met me, alone.

    Remind us agin — what was the turnout for your Teamakeers meetup, Joe?

  • Joe Clark says:

    Under my watch, personal attacks were deleted. It has become apparent that the only purpose of this site in the post’“Fake Ouimet era is to publish personal attacks. Perhaps they are justified, or could be described as other than personal, when the topic is bona fide celebrities like Jian Ghomeshi and Strombo, but I am not a bona fide celebrity.

    And I don’™t post to this site anymore. I exist in its past. I’™ve been leaving you people, who haven’™t actually met me, alone.

    The About page of this site, which apparently requires updating, claims that posts that really bother somebody will be removed. This post really bothers me and should be removed.

    • Allan says:

      But you are a celebrity, joe.
      You broadly hinted as much with a picture of yourself in front of a Little Mosque poster.
      This item is a reaction to your own public posting, which is now missing in action.
      Are we not free to comment about a news story already on the web? Or at least be allowed to ask why is there a URL – – that leads nowhere?

    • Bargain Cookie says:

      Under your watch.

      Under your watch you nearly took this site down.

      Under your watch you took down all your posts.

      Under your watch, this site sucked.

      Now stay away, please.

      This site is no longer under your watch.

  • Anonymous says:

    Actualky I don’t get it. Is he trying to publicly shame RyeHigh into hiring him?

    On what basis? Looking at his website, he doesn’t seem to have published much this century. And he has no web journalism experience. And no teaching credentials. Or journalism credentials. So why should they hire him? Because he’s been using the internet for a long time? I’ve been driving for much longer, but it wouldn’t be easy for me to teach driving. Like I said, I don’t get it.

    Ironically, his most relevant experience might be writing for teammakers. Hopefully he put that on his resume.

  • Anonymous Anonymous says:

    That was a great post by Joe. I totally agree with him, if he were teaching at RyeHigh there’d be some good critical discourse and original journalism coming from the students. For real. Also like how the teamakers is a kind of extended comments section. We’ll do that if people don’t let us talk. Maybe the same will have to happen for a mondoville post?

  • Orgenizing yor marvelos paychecks says:

    Joe, do you wear that stupid fucking hat when you go out to bomb these interviews?

  • Fake Bernard Lord says:

    >>How’™s New York treating you, Alphonse?

    From all accounts, like the socially well-adjusted, hard working, intutive, empathetic genius we all know her to be.

    How’s Toronto treating you, Joe? Still can’t shake that self-righteous maritimer hubris by the sounds of it. Maybe 19 more years on the internet will fix that. Perhaps your army of standardistas can develop a drunk-dad filter for you by then.

    In the meantime, welcome comment-starved Fawny refugees!

  • Joe Clark says:

    Another personal attack from the hands of Alphonse Ouimet, or enabled by same. I was not ’œturned down’; I was ignored. The department secretary has since apologized for that. So I gather I had a cause to complain after all.

    How’™s New York treating you, Alphonse?

    • Allan says:

      It wasn’t so long ago that you were shown a lot of support from this site, joe.
      You’ve had worse things said about you here, so go easy on the vengeance, and leave at least one tiny shred of behaviour for which we can respect you.

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