A Silly Boy

The moment he came in to view on Play, how could we know we would be stuck with him forever.
Supercilious, smarmy, smart.
And a great vocabulary to boot.
And he looks good in a suit, but has this smile that says you think I’m cute right?
And he’s quick and alert and doesn’t do drugs.
A reliable go to for a quick plug from a fly by celebrity.
But everything is superficial about him. You lose interest, he gets in the way.
You wish he’d shut up and let Leonard talk. We came to hear Joni Mitchell not the bouncy jovial high pitch of the sound of his voice.
Didn’t we get rid of him once already?
Wasn’t that TV show cancelled, due to total and utter boredom lack of interest no matter who he had on?
And then there he was on radio giving out lists and any flimsy excuse for Canada Votes For Something and we spread the gig out over a month, and this guy just won’t go away.
Now Q and website and cameras and Bold and he continues to leech off celebrities “acting” like an interested party when it’s all about him, how insightful and musically and artistically informed he is when the guy played in just another failed dream band that went nowhere because it was just a lark anyway.
Actually saw on the net that he was being referred to as a Canadian rock star.
In what country would that be?
He’s a very skilled wordsmith, you can’t take that away from him. And now he writes for The soon to be dead National Post where teenagers have taken over, pretending, hey this is easy. And meaningless.
He’s thought to be so successful. Based entirely on leeching off the celebrity of others. Revered in some quarters that others now want to leech off his celebrity on their way up to celebrity pay-off dominance.
But he offers nothing of value. He adds nothing.
He just stands near real talent, talks to real talent. And makes it somehow partly about him, as if he mattered one iota.
Me and L.C.
Only this guy would insert himself into the headline. And then put himself at the front of that line.

But this isn’t new. Strombo and he are very similar in their approach. And let’s face it there’s only a couple of ways of playing that game. You’re either serious or you’re sociable. These guys are sociable. Game show hosts for conversation, but game show hosts like Bob Eubanks and Wink Martindale, the ones without talent, instead of Drew Carey or even the guy who started out Family Feud and made it a mandatory practice that he was allowed to kiss the contestants. Of course in George’s case it would be a mandatory practice that he be kissed. On the cheek.
Was that the sound of moisture from the Stromboloopela group, just now?

He’s a harmless, unavoidable, self-centered twit who has no serious grasp of life and what it’s for. Or art and talent and why he possesses neither.
But we need guys and girls like him.

To service the stars.

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous
    Posted April 16, 2009 at 6:06 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Anonymous at 10:24,

    You are very correct in saying – you know, certain powerful, yet vapid executives in the hallways of cbc radio call j “the prince”.

    She adores him very much. And by the time she gets the boot, he’ll have enough roots here to stay put.

    I guess all it takes is a smile and wink to get your own show – oh yeah and pointy shoes.

  2. Anonymous
    Posted April 14, 2009 at 12:52 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Has anyone referenced early Cohen poetry to compare to the screed?

    Oops, sorry. Mustn’t use ‘retro-talk’ with today’s readers.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted April 14, 2009 at 9:22 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    psycho or no, this is the perfect summation of Jian.

  4. Anonymous
    Posted April 14, 2009 at 8:24 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    um. i happened to agree with this assessment. meanish as it is.
    we used to have real cultural reporters and programs at the cbc.
    i remember being relieved that play was cancelled and then immediately
    horrified that jian had managed to infiltrate radio.

    you know, certain powerful, yet vapid executives in the hallways of cbc radio call j
    “the prince”.

  5. Anonymous
    Posted April 14, 2009 at 5:05 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I can just see Allan at home, alone. Head shaved, shirtless, talking to himself in the mirror. Hand down the front of his Y-fronts. 1000s of photos of Ghomeshi on the walls, all with the eyes cut out, spattered with red paint and saliva. Allan, YOU ARE SICK.

    Can we we please have Allan removed from this blog?

  6. Anonymous
    Posted April 14, 2009 at 12:12 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Allan …. go seek some counselling.


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