You got a lot of nerve

you got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend

~ POSITIVELY 4TH STREET LYRICS

then less than a minute into the show, you announce to the world, in front of all of us that the only reason we’re on the show is because of who i am, that you’re not interested in the music or anyone else in the room, but you’re perfectly willing to go through the charade of doing an interview about hillbilly music, faking your way through it, feigning interest when you have none.

you agree to have us on to talk about the music.
you agree not to bring up my acting career. you look me in the eye and promise.
you tell me you’re interested in my music and the band, and then tell the country that you need to put our appearance “in context”, meaning the only reason we’re here is because of who i am

you say that you don’t compromise, that no one controls your questions, yet when i ask you on the air, just as i did before the show started, to only discuss the music, you say you’re fine with that, you say you’re cool with that.
isn’t that what I asked for before we started? isn’t that what you already agreed to before we had to negotiate the arrangement all over again on the air?
you lied to me, and then smile and act like you’re my friend, and expect me to just go along with you and act like I trust you, like you, respect you, when you’ve just shown that you have no respect for me or my music, that, again, we’re only here because of my acting achievements, never mind the other accomplished musicians sitting here with me today

they answer your questions politely, but you’ve already made it clear you don’t care.
you keep addressing me, trying to draw me into the conversation, get my voice on the air, because that’s really the point isn’t it, get Billy Bob, use his presence to draw listeners, pretend to be interested while telling the world you’re not at all interested

are you a man of your word? are you someone who can be trusted, trusted to act in a manner other than in your own self-interest?
you acknowledge on the air that there was a discussion prior to the show between us and your producer. you were fully informed about it. if you had no intention of abiding by it, then why didn’t you tell me before we started taping? why put me in that position, of finding out on live TV that within a minute you’ve broken our agreement. now what am I supposed to do.
do you think this is all a joke to me?
you think this is my latest passion? I played in a band before I became an actor.

you’re very slick at what you do here, I can see that. you have all the questions ready – when did you first get together, what were your musical influences – all the standard questions, as if you care or that any of it mattered to you, when you already told everyone you have no real interest in any of it. then why are you doing this? as a public service, in the interest of the audience? or in the interest of yourself?

16 comments:

  1. Anonymous
    Posted April 13, 2009 at 10:11 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    @12:00
    Tyee and Georgia Straight in Vancouver
    Fagstein and an active Yahoo group from Montreal
    some others in the east along with their still-alive Frank magazine

  2. Dwight Williams
    Posted April 13, 2009 at 2:06 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I’d appreciate a resumption of full control by the founder, with some help from “Fake Ouimet” and select others.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted April 13, 2009 at 10:00 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Anon 11:49, are there other “uncorrupted media criticism websites” that DON’T originate from Toronto?

  4. J. Kelly
    Posted April 13, 2009 at 9:51 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I’m beginning to think Ouimet has performed a really worthwhile experiment by turning his blog over by the trolls, the obsessed and the nominally sane. He’s showing us a where every other media outlet may well be ten years from now…

    Don’t like Allan? Well, Allan is the future, guys, so either get used to it or start working on an alternative. This blog is a dystopian warning worth of Philip K Dick.

  5. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 9:49 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    This is the only uncorrupted media criticism website originating from Toronto. Start your own, complainers, and you might have the title to yourself someday.

  6. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 9:25 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I actually didn’t read this post. If Allan’s name is on it, I know it’s insane bullshit.

  7. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 7:52 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Stupid post. Douche defending a douche.

  8. Ouimet
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 7:17 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Precisely.

    Actually, I left it for dead. But it was Fake Ouimet who took it on. He was later joined by others. Then he quit. Then he came back. Now the place is pretty crowded.

    There’s a standing offer to any of you to contribute. Just send it in to alphonse.ouimet@gmail.com.

  9. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 6:53 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Do you mean Anonymous or Allan?

  10. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 6:32 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    so you turned it over to the worst comment troll instead?

  11. Ouimet
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 6:15 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I always wanted to engage readers as much as possible here. So when I first put up the ratings I was very excited about it.

    But a few years later and I have to admit the whole thing failed. A post could easily get thousands of readers, and only 8 ratings. They were indicative of nothing.

    When we blew away the site for April Fools Day they were taken out and never put back in again.

    I love the idea of turning over some editorial control of the site to the crowd and haven’t abandoned it. I’m just not sure that they are ready for it.

    Or even interested in it.

  12. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 5:53 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Fantastic insight, Allan, keep it coming.

  13. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 5:26 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Perhaps you could rate it using words instead of stars.

    Don’t post so much. That’s all that many here are really asking for.

    Just because you have so mo much to say, doesn’t mean it all needs to be said. Escpecially when more than half of it such dreck.

    Maybe you should drink even more than it seems you already do. Pass out a little more often in your own white-middle-aged drool and see if it’s still worth posting once you wake up.

    Or start yet another blog that you can be the star of and run it however you want.

    This Billy Bob crap even bypasses the level of self-absorbed fuckery you pulled during the relentless running with the Bye-Bye 2008 bone.

    Give it a rest. Call 640 or CFRB or something if you really need to get so much off your chest. It’s still a bit too cold outside to crank the windows open every time you fart in here.

    Hey, you asked.

  14. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 3:10 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Another embarrassing post. Sad.

  15. Allan
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 2:55 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Perhaps you could rate it using words instead of stars. That way it might be a little clearer why you hated something, apart from the fact that it was written by a janitor.

    Far easier to hit on one star as an act of derision than to make an effort to type a word.
    I’m not as touchy about it as this may sound. You’re always free to say whatever you want, about the post and even about me and “us”, but only up to a point. Believe it or not, we actually think we’re behaving responsibly here.

  16. Anonymous
    Posted April 12, 2009 at 2:44 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    What happened to the ratings?


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