The Onion is hiring

A little gallows humour on this terrible day. But the story is true and reported in the New York Times.

Former CNN Anchor Moves to The Onion

In yet another sign that the line between real news and fake news is getting thinner, one of CNN’s main anchors during the 1980s and 1990s, Bobbie Battista, has taken a step through the looking glass and can now be seen anchoring reports online for ONN, The Onion News Network.

It’s not April 1, YET.

Good luck to all



  1. Allan
    Posted March 27, 2009 at 6:01 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Here’s a link for J. Frank Willis and other news junkies …

  2. Anonymous
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 9:24 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’™s patience.

    ~ John Updike to Allan

  3. Allan
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 6:03 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    TeaM members arguing is like the inevitable scene from every Celebrity Apprentice.
    That is, if Celebrity Apprentice were on the CBC.
    They did have Tom Green on the show. He’s still Canadian, even if the only one.
    But isn’t that all the criteria you need to be on prime time CBC?
    Everything else can be American as long as one person is The One.

  4. Allan
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 4:37 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    oh oh, here comes a nasty comment …

    I think I run Tea Makers?
    In what way do I run Tea Makers? what control do I have over anything that goes on here?
    I can post and comment just like you, so how does that run TM any more than joe runs TM any more these days
    what a stupid statement
    I post and therefore I now think I run Tea Makers?
    I’m a guest here just like you

    any idea how childish that statement is?
    let me guess how else your infantile mind works
    because I post at TM that must therefore mean I think I’m a big shot
    isn’t that about the size of your imagination?

    I should give a fuck about someone’s movements because it’s a CNN anchor?
    Is it JD Roberts?
    oh, someone you’ve watched for years in the newsroom?
    what else are they watching in the newsroom? Lost?
    shall we talk about Lost?
    shall we compare mythologies?

    we are all tempted to talk about the things that interest us in the broader world
    and your recipe for frying cod is totally relevant because Gil Deacon once fried fish on her show.
    But is that a CBC post?
    You can pretty much make anything connect to anything don’t you know
    of course you do

    and now you’ve cleared that up for everyone, especially me
    I don’t run Tea Makers
    you have totally blown any chance I had of being bribed and lobbied with wads of cash when everyone thought I ran Tea Makers

    I had to say something JW or you would just have kept going, with another long piece about newspapers, because it so applies to the CBC

    no way

    I’m speaking up to make you think twice about the subject matter and point of your posts
    keep em coming, as much as you want, particularly now that I no longer run Tea Makers

    BUT my friend
    you will now think twice about the content of your posts, guaranteed

  5. J. Frank Willis
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 3:34 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece


    You seem to think you run Teamakers.

    You don’t.

    You seem to think that what is happening at CBC is isolated from the rest of the media world.
    Perhaps you should reread what management and even what Stephen Harper is saying.

    A former CNN anchor which everyone watched in the CBC newsroom in past years now working for the Onion. And that isn’t relevant news?

    At least JFW admits he doesn’t have any solutions to the current mess.

    All I’ve ever seen from Allan are nasty comments. And Allan has never offered a solution to anything.

  6. Allan
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 3:21 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    which pill?

    Conrad wrote about the CBC.
    Conrad responded to message about his post, even if it was a form letter.
    How about letting Frank speak for himself Anon?

  7. Anonymous
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 3:16 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    take a pill Allan.

    You just posted a useless, non-CBC post about Conrad Black.

  8. Allan
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 3:09 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    What’s the plan here, frank Willis?
    I thought we were discussing the CBC, and not the Onion or NYT.
    Is TM going to be a media commentary blog?
    Your posts of late have veered off to wanting to talk about newspapers going down and that no one has any answers including you.
    Are CBC issues not enough to chew on?
    This post is meaningless.
    Should I begin to post interesting snippets from around the web that have no bearing on the CBC but are oh so cute and funny?

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