Unsubstantiated rumour day

Hi, Ouimet here. Yes, that’s right. Ouimet Classic. How have you been?

You look great. Is that a new skirt? I see you finally got your monocle cleaned. It’s about time.

Fake Ouimet is taking a few days off from this blog. Perhaps he’s had a couple of major health setbacks. Or maybe he’s rearranging his fonts? It’s his business, really.

In the meantime I’m in charge. Let’s start it off with some unsubstantiated rumours. We did this before last year. Remember that? Good times.

Same rules. Keep it clean. Keep it anonymous. No mentions of “Canadian Culture.” Leave the children out of it.

23 comments:

  1. Anonymous
    Posted September 21, 2008 at 6:59 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Kirstine Layfield to go to CTV for a new drama post mandated by the CRTC to increase creative Canadian content, and won’t be “Train 48.”

    CBC allowed to add an extra hour of U.S. or U.K. game shows to match private networks’ schedules. And brings in “Wipeout in FlinFlon”

  2. Fake Ouimet
    Posted September 21, 2008 at 9:35 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    No, J. Happypants ’“ any more than it is possible to add SELF-INCRIMINATING after each of your comments.

  3. Johnny Happypants
    Posted September 21, 2008 at 8:46 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Is it possible to auto-insert the word DUH! after every Fake Ouimet post?

  4. Anonymous
    Posted September 20, 2008 at 11:50 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Razzle Dazzle is older than the 70’s–1961-1966 and in the boomers (1946-1957) early teens.

    The idea of a new, nostalgic Old channel in black and white has already been done with the CBC buyout last year of The Documentary Channel, which they now call Doc.
    What’s up? Monochrome documentaries with no complicated copyright issues that are preventing the archives from exploding onto the airwaves.

  5. Aigle
    Posted September 19, 2008 at 3:46 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    You forgot Fraggle Rock…gotta love the doozers…

    …reminds me of us.

    Or at least me ;)

  6. Anonymous
    Posted September 19, 2008 at 2:47 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Since Global stock is falling and they will soon break their financial convenants, CBC and CTV have a secret deal with the CRTC to take over the Global and A network when Global has to go bankrupt.
    This will be a new CBC channel showing only programmes before 1970 for the rich market of boomer seniors who remember the Friendly Giant in their dotage, and Razzle Dazzle from the CBC archives.

  7. Anonymous
    Posted September 19, 2008 at 4:59 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Bummer!…It was only a dream.

    Any you were there…and you were there, and, yes, youwere there too!

    Back to sepia and grey.

  8. Fake Ouimet
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 7:59 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    J. Happypants, if memory serves I’™ve deleted a total of three comments, and invited the writer of one of them to rephrase it, which he did.

    ’śWhy the tears?’ťÂ ’śWarts!’ť You’™re probably too young to remember that one.

  9. Johnny Happypants
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 7:38 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Hey Real Ouimet,

    Now that you’ve got the keys back can you change the locks so the Fake Ouimet can’t get back in?

    Then there’s some fun things you can do:

    1. Publish some of his comments, then delete them.

    2. Don’t publish some of his other comments. Censor at random.

    3. As a tribute to him, make sure every second comment posted is from yourself, and make sure it is meaningless. Don’t do this too often, just enough so we get a chuckle.

    It’s been a sad couple of months.

    JH

  10. Fake Ouimet
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 6:53 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    VĂ©ritable Ouimet makes it look easy, doesn’™t he/she/it/them? It’™s humbling.

    I am wrangling HTML into Word into InDesign for Book 2. I don’™t know how well the contract for Book 3 is going. I suppose as well as could rationally be expected. It’™s been a stressful several days. And I’™m stuck doing it all myself. That’™s why I’™m taking a little pause here. I only feel I need to say that because I’™ve kept up every-weekday posts nearly consistently since July.

    Then there’™s the accursed CRTC.

    Also, why didn’™t anyone read The Velveteen Rabbit to me when I was a child? Somebody tell Bruce LaBruce.

    If somebody wants to take me out to coffee, please do.

  11. Allan
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 6:02 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Znaimer wants the Stursberg job so bad he can taste it.

  12. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 5:45 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    The rumour re. Sylvain was not unsubstantiated. He suffered a minor heart attack earlier this summer…

  13. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 3:56 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    BORING!!! Who is screwing? Who practices poor restroom ettiquette? Who steals from Oooh La La?

  14. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 1:41 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Anon 4:42 pm (bcs we don’t got no OpenID at cbc)

    In new cuts, Celine Galipeau will do both the French and the English news reading, at the same time, in the inimitable Justin Trudeau bilang style, from Montreal studios as they build more condos on the grounds. Bien sur

  15. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 12:07 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Casgrain got the Chairman’s job when he commited to implimenting a 25% across the board cut in the event of a Harper minority, 40% if Harper got a majority.

  16. clint
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 9:46 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Never mind my skirt. As soon as I saw it was you, I had my cock out.

    (Hey, why isn’t Fake Ouimet called Nonmet?)

  17. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 9:46 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    A certain former manager named Ouimet [I mean really named Ouimet] got shitcanned from VANOC for being a “total asshole.” PRETTY MUCH the same reason the CBC let him go.

  18. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 9:18 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece
  19. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 8:48 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Sylvain didn’t become the prez because when he met with the Minister he was told an ominous secret about the Corp. and told to keep it to himself. He felt obligated to tell Bob, who told Dick, who told the Minister!

  20. Wandering Coyote
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 8:33 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Nice to see you back.

  21. Aigle
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 8:12 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Welcome back, O Fair One.

    A couple of days back, I saw Steve Paikin in the halls with Mark Bulgutch.

    He had a badge. A real Badge.

    (Not one of those “temp” ones that wreck any leather jacket, not a really big red one that used to get you 10% discount at Quizno’s.)

    I’m not sure, but I think it had an orange band on it, which is odd since I would have thought it would be green.

    We all know about the debate but….HOLY WOW! Could this mean something bigger?

    Has he come home?

    Will we get an all-male anchor duo of CBC Sunday (please?).

    Have we (gasp) actually..done..something..right?

    Or was it becaus they couldn’t afford Perez Hilton…and are we still dynamically progressing towards the status-quo ;)

  22. Hulaboy
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 7:41 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    HUG HUG HUG!!! YAY!

    (I never liked “New Coke”)

    ….At what date will all of the big TBC studios be shut down for either repair, or conversion to a Wall-Mart in the sky?….

  23. Anonymous
    Posted September 18, 2008 at 7:18 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    new Sirius channels coming soon…. with more bizarre CBC content.


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