‘YPF’ on CBC

If CBC is all about ratings and making shows that people want to watch and “Would it kill us to have a hit?,” then isn’t a golden opportunity staring us full-frontally in the face?

Shouldn’t CBC scoop up the broadcast rights to Young People Fucking? I’m talking first window here – never mind this pay-TV shit. (Also in French. Don’t change the title!)

Like: Isn’t this a ratings bonanza? Doesn’t this make prairie Muslim girls look like Afghanistan Muslim girls by comparison?

Can’t you imagine the peals of outrage from right-wing assholes? Whenever a right-wing asshole writes an excoriating blog post, God gives us one more ratings point.

I’m as tired of heterosexualism as the next guy. I’ve never bought it onscreen ever, except once, and that case, rather unexpectedly, was Shakespeare in Love. Sex and the City and Bliss and Red Shoe Diaries (and even a few scenes in Dirt, the show that has no business being as good as it is that isn’t Mad Men) are all actively repulsive. I’ve channel-surfed through (captioned) straight porn on TV and felt unmanned.

In fact, I was incensed at the Genesis myth drenched in the milk of compulsory heterosexualism in – wait for it! – Wall-E. Some days of some weeks of some months, I have so bloody had it with straight people.

But so fucking what? Give me Young People Fucking. Listen, it sounds pretty good. It sounds like a good Canadian movie. There are actually quite a few of them. Another Canadian heterosexualist-themed picture I liked was Last Wedding. Maybe it’s in a similar vein.

It is almost true to say the government of the day wanted to defund Young People Fucking. This is several steps removed from actually banning it, but it’s on the same continuum. CBC is a public broadcaster, not a state broadcaster. It’s supposed to be independent. Grow a pair and act that way for a change and put the most famous Canadian movie of the year right where it belongs.

Now: Of course I got all journalistic on people’s asses (like one guy’s hand on another guy in the movie, apparently) and asked YPF director-cowriter Martin Gero for a quote. No response. He can write a comment here if he wants.

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