Antonia Is Fat

Blame Allan.
~O

No one word is more of a dagger through the heart of a woman than the word “fat”. Also right up there is “pig” and “slut”.

Guys learn this at an early age, and the married ones stay married by quickly explaining they meant “phat” as Snoop Dog would once have said.
(phew, that was a close one)

I wonder which words drive the beautifully stylish women of Montreal nuts.

Or is this a universal truth?

AZ wants to change the world by writing a column on the bigger picture of the way we live, when her deepest obsession is clearly her own circumference and general size, down to her toes.

But trouble yourself not, AZ, because it still holds true that it’s not what you have, but what you do with it.
I mean, have you seen Christine Blatchford’s face?
And I’ll bet she still … scores.

Allan
Living Columnist
(until AZ finds him)

16 comments:

  1. hugh
    Posted June 30, 2007 at 8:56 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    umm… wtf? what happened to the interesting blog posts?

    allan: commenter is fine. but there is a big internet with lots of free blogging services, where allan can write to his hearts content.

    please bring back the teamakers.

  2. sooey
    Posted June 30, 2007 at 5:48 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    I don’t get it – are you saying YOU’RE fat now, too?

  3. Allan
    Posted June 29, 2007 at 7:41 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Perhaps it was too daring.
    Hold up a word, say “fat’, and watch how people react.
    Especially the target.
    The one who shows herself on TV and elsewhere, who can dish it out, understands linguistics, and isn’t afraid of plain language, and knows both the power and the empty facade of the written word.
    Let’s see how she chose to react when confronted with that statement.
    How she reacted as a private person, a public person, an outspoken, ready-to-address-what others-are-too-weak-or-intimidated-to-confront.
    Hmmm.
    Too much silence.
    She can’t even think of a good joke or comeback.
    She shuts it out, leaving it all a great mystery.
    Do as you wish AZ, but I’m willing to bet that you’ll make fewer references in your writing to this topic.

    Unless, perhaps, it’s to write about THIS.

    Somebody out there have a problem with me?
    Anybody at all, all the anonymouseses, let it rip.
    Step up and make your contribution.
    Let me sit back and tear you a new one.
    Please make it something interesting and different.
    And not stuff even I could easily fake.
    Make a good point, and be heard.
    Or just relax and sit back while a few, very few, people here make attempts at creative comment that thinks you think.

  4. sooey
    Posted June 29, 2007 at 11:07 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Yabbut, she spits, not swallows. You should try it, Allan. That way you wouldn’t be so full at the end of the day.

  5. Allan
    Posted June 28, 2007 at 9:55 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    She’s still eating?

  6. Ouimet
    Posted June 28, 2007 at 8:41 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    For what it’s worth, I actually apologized to Antonia for this one yesterday.

    She had the decency to write me back and chew me out.

  7. sooey
    Posted June 28, 2007 at 12:39 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Haha! You are so yesterday, bitch – “The Fat Pig Sluts” would be a great name for a bookclub – mine.

    And it’s “Crusty”. Crusty Blatchford. Great face, shame about the rest.

    Antonia? She’s a hot Greek Mama Mia!

    Whaddaru? Gay? A Small Dead Animal? A Gay Small Dead Animal?

  8. Anonymous
    Posted June 28, 2007 at 11:01 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    This reminds me of the sort of spiteful drivel that you’d read on Perez Hilton. I don’t think you should have posted it. Alan is right; most women are very sensitive about their appearances. This is the sort of societal pressure that exists (but don’t get me started!). Antonia is an astute, intelligent journalist, and how she looks is irrelevant.

  9. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 6:59 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    FYI – Both links in this post are broken in one way or another.

  10. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 4:03 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    “Blame Allan” : Simply love it!

  11. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 11:21 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Allan is mean. It’s his thing. I think it rather unfortunate that he consistently takes the low road in most of his commentaries. In some ways Allan reminds me of child. When a child can’t get attention through positive means, they often turn to negative ones. Too bad that this is the image that he chooses to project.

  12. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 11:12 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    When did this site become “Allan’s Soapbox”?

  13. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 11:11 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Misognyny sucks. Antonia’s a hero for putting up with this kind of crap for so long. It’s amazing she keeps writing about anything.

  14. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 10:39 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Maybe this bitter Allen character hangs out at some College street cafe and is bitter.

    Or it was a drunken tirade from a bitter man who let lose.

    I guess these Miss Blatchford and Azerbisas characters are somebodies in the local Toronto scence. Nothing about the CBC on them.

  15. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 7:42 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    what is the point of this post? it’s just plain mean.

    i’ll admit it… maybe i’m missing something.

  16. Anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2007 at 5:04 am | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Who’s “Christine Blatchford”?


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