Yet if a CBC program is being murdered in the ratings by a new U.S. hit, nobody wins. Not CBC. Not the writers, actors, directors and others involved. In fact, if CBC programs meant to appeal to the widest possible audience should fail, CBC is in an even more precarious position than it is now. It’s much harder to defend a CBC that aims for bland populism and fails. Then, clearly, what it offers can be found elsewhere and is more popular.

- John Doyle, CBC’s schedule – too soft, too safe?

“As much as some people loathe the CBC, CBC bosses hate us more”

~ possibly written by John Doyle in Five things we learned from TV this year

“Definition of a mixed blessing: a compliment from John Doyle.”

- Amanda Lang on Twitter

Doyle objects to to the disrespect Stursberg shows toward the CBC’s stakeholders, and finds a lot directed at himself.

1:24 John Doyle:
Allan – I’m disappointed that CBC brass has reacted to comments about the new look and format by claiming that the criticism comes from “competing” news organizations. That’s ridiculous. This, mind you, from the CBC that made a content sharing arrangement with the National Post. CBC belongs to all of us and we are all entitled to a say on it, without being accused of bias.

(via) (more at Mondoville)

Oh, but there is: Blogs. Which as it turns out is another good place to get story ideas.

The E-mail has been floating online for a few days and yesterday made its way to this paper’s Ottawa bureau, whence it came to me.

Wait, wait! John Doyle did NOT get this E-mail from a blog, and certainly not the Tea Makers blog, which was the only blog to write about this E-mail until Medium Close-Up wrote about it, but John Doyle never reads any of these! Remember the trouble he got in last time over stealing from blogs.

No, you see, it was floating. Then it made its way to Ottawa. Still unseen by John Doyle, mind you. Until, finally, whence it came to him.

Where can you, the reader, read this E-mail? Doyle does not say.

There follows a poorly written, grammatically challenged litany of complaints about “management structure,” personal attacks on managers, gossip…

What reader of the Globe and Mail would ever want to read that original letter?

Now, Doyle is not an journalist. He’s a columnist, and more of a “journalistic entertainer” at that. He might not be susceptible to any rules the Globe and Mail has on journalistic integrity. And he never pretends to have any responsibility towards his readers vis-à-vis informing them on matters. And forget that there are plenty of bloggers out there who are writing about Canadian TV, and could give interesting opinions and facts in the same column that would inform and enlighten readers of the Globe and Mail. And there are plenty of people who could do it who don’t have a blog at all!

Forget about all that, and the fact that if these people had his column, after two days we would wonder how the hell the Globe put up with John Doyle for so long, and why I paid a dollar for it every day. Forget about all that.

All right, I forgot my point.

Oh, yes! I sometimes feel sorry for John Doyle.

• is a science-fiction series starring a girl
• is about a girl who acts like a ditz because all she can do is parrot the catchphrases and mannerisms of flibbertigibbets she saw on TV, but still, she crosses timelines without batting an eye
• features a parade of boyfriends so generic they all blend into a hairless metrosexual mass
• goes where it has to, killing people off or dallying with hot lesbo action
• imagines Canadian book publishing as a viable arena for authors who aren’t already famous
• doesn’t apologize to those crybaby Regions for being set in glorious cosmopolitan Toronto
• makes Toronto look pretty good, actually
• doesn’t let Michael Riley be quite as dashing as he could be, and leaves him unnecessarily clothed
• somehow came up with the money to license crucially necessary pop tunes de l’époque
• features – unlike so much Canadian programming – actual plot
• forces you to confront the dichotomy between the public posture you think you have to take vs. how much you privately like it

Being Erica. The best Canadian show.

I’m sorry. It is. And I’m not even hot for girls.

Me, I used to like Erica, but I really don’t give a rodent’s posterior about Dr. Tom. What’s happened now is that Erica’s singleton life and obsessions are not exactly compelling. And Dr. Tom is a drip.

– John Doyle reviews the Being Erica season premiere

For a fun diversion as we head into a long, hot summer of pogey, “blockbuster” Hollywood movies, and high-UV-index Saturdays pretending to give a shit about Toronto FC, take the Tea Makers’ fun new KanKonKwiz™!
(First in a series!)

Can you spot the distinctive, legal-mandate-conformant CBC Television series hidden in plain sight in this omnibus list of brand-new “Canadian” programming, compiled from press releases from CBC and Canada’s valued private broadcasters?

1. Ford Models Supermodel of the World Canada
2. Great Canadian Bio-Series
3. Ice Pilots NWT
4. Canada’s Super Speller
5. Pow-wow’s Playhouse
6. Innovators of Music
7. Leaders of Lieder
8. Bloodsport: Opera
9. Photo Xplorers
10. Star Portraits
11. Anna & Kristina’s Style Bag
12. The Cupcake Girls
13. Of Kiwis and Men
14. L’Oréal Paris Presents Spitting L’Image Canada
15. Re-Vamped
16. The Jane Show
17. How to Marry a Millionaire
18. Battle of the Blades
19. Over the Bolts
20. Junk Raiders
21. Johnny Knoxville’s Jackass: The Series Canada
22. Peak Season
23. Crash & Burn
24. The Half-Hour News Parody Hour
25. Angel on Campus
26. Baxter
27. The Republic of Doyle
28. Meet Phil Fitz
29. The Bougons
30. The Ron James Show
31. Eat Your Heart Out, Adrienne Clarkson
32. Stella and Sam
33. Justin Time
34. Sanctuary
35. Traders: The Musical
36. Bloodletting
37. All Families Are Psychotic
38. Homeroom Vampire
39. Love Among the Tar Sands
40. Fakers
41. Harlequin Presents The Kilting Bee: The Colin & Justin Story
42. Phantom
43. 18 to Life
44. The Pillars of the Earth
45. The Foundation
46. Living in Your Car
47. My Other Car Is a Prius
48. Straighten Out Your Life with Mark Tewksbury
49. My Rona Home
50. The Basement Design Department
51. Holmes Inspection
52. Conviction Kitchen
53. Realtor vs. Realtor

Answers!

Well, I see nobody gave a shit.

The new CBC shows are Ron James, Battle of the Blades, Canada’s Super Speller, 18 to Life, and The Republic of Doyle (AKA “Not Charlie Jade”).

The list included a number of ringers I made up. You should have spotted at least one or two, but nobody would have gotten all of them. This theory will remain untested.

1. My Other Car Is a Prius
   (as surely any Riverdale-semi-owning CBC manager’s wife’s must be)
2. L’Oréal Paris Presents Spitting L’Image Canada
   (après Project Runway Canada avec Iman, le déluge?)
3. Leaders of Lieder
   (ahhhts programming)
4. Bloodsport: Opera
   (Repo: The Genetic Opera half-assedly cloned 1996–CITY-TV/Canadian style)
5. Straighten Out Your Life with Mark Tewkesbury
   (who’s already doing Newsworld segments)
6. The Bougons
   (from Les Bougon, one of those actually funny Radio-Canada series that tightassed, PC Fort Dork pretends doesn’t exist and isn’t worth remaking in English)
7. The Basement Design Department
   (which got dismantled)
8. Love Among the Tar Sands
   (AKA Son of Wild Roses)
9. How to Marry a Millionaire
   (please: a gimme)
10. Eat Your Heart Out, Adrienne Clarkson
    (hommage to Her Excellency the Sashimïst General)
11. Homeroom Vampire
    (YTV-style tween comedy)
12. Traders: The Musical
    (could it work?)
13. Of Kiwis and Men
    (calque of Des kiwis et des hommes)
14. All Families Are Psychotic
    (après jPod, le déluge?)
15. Harlequin Presents The Kilting Bee: The Colin & Justin Story
    (they really are on book covers; plus they’re reputedly hung like horses)
16. Pow-wow’s Playhouse
    (Cowboy Curtis’s aboriginal reconciliation)