Infomatrix 2.0 beta release!

l’info-matrix of/de CBC/RADIO-CANADA with/avec PATRICE NORTEL Greetings cyb3r fanZ!

Sorry for the trillion nanosecond delay! I’ve been so swamped answering all your fanMail that I’ve barely found the time to spell out SHELL OIL or BOOBLESS on this old upside-down calculator we call Teamkers! Anyway, here’s the latest scoops and bloops, converted to unicode for your consideration!

Twittr is teh suXor!

I was pretty excited to join all you twing-ers out there in dataland. I’m still trying to figure out what Twitter is good for. It keeps asking me “What are you doing right now”? So half the time, I just type “eating Hickory Sticks” or “updating this Twitter.”

Just when I was pondering that this Twitter thing is the crappiest BBS ever, some guy stole my profile! I think I’m gonna go back to indexing that collection of 438 μMatic videotapes. Until then … http://twitter.com/patricenortel . The other jerk posts at http://twitter.com/patricenortle (DO NOT FOLLOW THIS LINK!)

New Feature: Patrice ‘From the Log Files’ Coming soon!

Did you know that back in the day, Tea Makers founder and super-insider Ouimet was being hunted down ruthlessly by IT and Senior Management? Now it can be told! Stay tuned for my full-length interview with Oumie herself. I also get some hot insider data from an IT sleuth who would only identify himself as “Capitaine Crouche.” Here’s a ’ti-preview …

PN: So, you’re saying that that consent screen you get when you sign into your work computer was designed to ensnare Ouimet?

CC: The login screen was called the Vista Project. They started work on it as soon as they found the blog. After 18 months of overtime and millions of dollars in on-call premiums, we had a way to snoop through anyone’s browser history. We also hired a bunch of moles in various departments where we were sure Ouimet worked, like the Carpentry Shop, TV Lighting maintenance, and others.

PN: Whoa.

CC: Let’s just say, we had full reports printed, inter-office faxed then photocopied to 11×17 format bundles for senior team every morning. This was so important, they almost made finding Ouimet a PARC priority.

ASCII CORNER

Belleville regional webmaster John-Larouche-Bilnch sends the following awesome creation for your perusal …

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Well, it was supposed to be the GEM logo. Back to my terminal to fix this. Whoops.

Keep sending those e-mails, fans! All ur bAse arE bel0ng to ME! PATRICE OUT! >>>EOB //[end of blog]

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