Welcome to Oi!

Welcome to Oi! Your CBC employee portal!
by Oi! staff
If you’ve made it this far, it means you’ve clicked past the CBC policy warning that welcomes you every day, you’ve logged in to Novell, Groupwise, and Oi itself so we know without a doubt who you are, exactly what you’re doing at all times, and what you’re even thinking of clicking, and our probe has been gently inserted into your anus.
In fact, we’re looking at your HR records right now. Interesting reading.
But what we really want is your honest feedback on what you think about us and the CBC.
Just click here, and write an email, don’t be shy. We’ll keep it safe and private.
What’s there to be afraid of, old chum?
We’re going to be close, you and me. Real close. Know what I mean?
Reeeeeaaal close.
Er, ok, not that close. Do you mind moving over a little? A little more?
Just a little more?
Just a little farther, please.
Perfect.

Hello! I’m back!
by Hubert
I just stepped out for a sandwich and a Diet Coke. It took little longer because I had to walk around the smokers out front. Did I miss anything?
read more…

Employee in the Spotlight: Bob Keating
by Oi! staff
The media dubbed him the “Toffifee Assassin” for sending tainted chocolates to a local health-care advocate, but Bob says despite that outburst, he’s actually a pretty regular guy, who totally forgives the CBC. “I forgive them,” he said “for they know not what they done do.”
read more…

The Profac 30 Under 30 Under 30
by Oi! staff
We keep the absolute bare minimum of them around. Their English is shaky. They hide in the basement. They are the janitors of the CBC and every year Profac selects the most promising of them under 30 years old that makes under $30,000 a year for the Profac 30 Under 30 Under 30.
read more…

Phase 3, Part 6, Section 1.5 of the Radio 2 Changes Coming Very Soon
by Oi! staff
Jennifer McGuire announced the latest in the changes to Radio 2 yesterday to a mostly captive audience in Studio 40. “These changes are critical to the success of the CBC” she said. “Our old plan of driving up numbers by hoping listeners who passed away would leave the radio on has been stymied by busybody nurses in retirement homes shutting them off.”
read more…

The Times They Are A-Changin’
by Inside the CBC
Big changes are a-coming to Radio2, head honcho Richard Strusburg announced today. A lot of these answers are blowin’ in the wind.
What do you think? Do you like these changes?
read more…

Guest blogger: Why won’t CBC radio hire me?
by The Tea Makers
The year was 1967. The place? The College Street streetcar. The fare was a dime back then. Someone got on, and dropped a nickel into the fare box. As he came closer to me, I saw that it was Peter Gzowski. What a dick!
read more…

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous
    Posted March 13, 2008 at 8:21 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Whee!

    More, please.

  2. Allan
    Posted March 13, 2008 at 7:21 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Ouimet already did a superb job here, but I’m taking requests …

  3. Anonymous
    Posted March 13, 2008 at 6:14 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Hilarious. More insidethecbc bashing, please!

  4. Anonymous
    Posted March 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    Anyone know what the software or cms that the io site is running? How long until it’s hacked to have a Fire Dick banner. ;)

    Oh, and when can we sick Allan onto io? Will it allow for comments? Can we give Allan a job with the io team to help with the editorial content on the site?

    And did anyone in the io unit realize they were making the io.org and cbc link explicit? How many of the early io.org crew have at some point in time worked at CBC?

  5. Anonymous
    Posted March 13, 2008 at 12:59 pm | # | Reply to this masterpiece

    A witty entry that manages to make you crack a smile while making a point. Thanks Ouimet!

    How long can this cleverness quotient last? Sooner or later (sooner, alas) the guest blogger will return.


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